I always get a case of the nerves before surgery, no matter how small it is. Tomorrow, I get my port taken out!! Can't wait for that! But, I am a very edgy person right now. I've had a lot of pain with it, because scar tissue has grown around it and someties when I move my left arm wrong, it will pull that tissue loose and cause it to tear, which in turn hurts like hell!!! It has really been hurting me and I will be very glad to not have an alien plastic part in my body anymore. Even more happy and grateful that I didn't need it in the first place. 4 surgeries now, when I could have had one and been done with that phase...... Don't even get me started on that!
Other than that, just living life day to day. It's hard to make plans for the future right now, but I at least know that I have the opportunity to at least make plans! That is thrilling, when I know so many wonderful, beautiful women never made it to that point when diagnosed with Breast Cancer. I am a lucky one and I am very aware of that priviledge. I've seen women in the Dr.'s offices that have had full mastectomies, or one breast removed and I think that what I've gone through is so far less than what these beautiful, strong women have gone through. To lose that part of us that is so female..... That part that we so identify ourselves with. That would be incredible hard for me. My respect and honor are very high for these couragous women!
I'll be back, to quote the Terminator, In a few days to write more, when I am over surgery!
xoxoxo
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